I didn’t love A Parade of Horribles, really, and that’s a strange thing for me to say about a Dungeon Crawler Carl book straight after one I thought was among the best in the series. I finished it in October and I’ve been chewing on why it didn’t work for me ever since. There’s a good ending in here, the way Carl deals with Emberus is clever and I really enjoyed it, but getting there meant sitting through a racing floor I found annoying and, to be honest, kind of boring. And the dungeon itself has now gone completely off the deep end, in a way that changes how I feel about where the whole series is heading.
It picks up right after Faction Wars, with Katia gone and the gods loose, and the tenth floor is a racing tournament. Seven heats on tracks the AI designs, teams of up to four with a vehicle or a mount, an upgrade after each heat, and whoever finishes last is out. It gets stranger as it goes, which is the series all over, with the last couple of heats shrinking the racers down and sending them through an apartment building. There’s a lot of imagination in it. I just never got into it the way I’ve got into most of the floors.
The race floor annoyed me

The whole car race was a bit annoying and boring, and I’ll try to explain why, because I’ve loved some pretty silly floors in this series. The biggest part of it is that Carl has so little agency on this floor. Most of the time in these books he’s in a dangerous place and he gets to be clever and violent about it, finding the loophole, blowing something up, making the system regret ever noticing him. Here he’s mostly driving and reacting, stuck on tracks someone else designed, and the book admits he hates it nearly as much as I did.
The heats themselves run together after a while too. There’s a new track, a new weird hazard, an upgrade, and then it’s on to the next heat, and by the middle of the floor I was waiting for it to end rather than wondering what would happen. The ideas are wild, caves full of screeching death manatees, a downhill track crawling with sugar hermits, and on paper every one of them sounds like a classic DCC set-up. Listening to them one after another, though, they blurred into a single long chase, and the glitches getting worse every heat started to feel like the only thing actually moving forward. It all felt a bit forced and contrived at points, as if the floor existed so the book could have a race in it rather than because the story needed one.
There are good bits along the way, I don’t want to pretend otherwise. Donut is still Donut, sharp and vain and brilliant, and she gets some of the floor’s best lines even while stuck in a race she clearly thinks is beneath her. But those moments felt like they were happening around the race rather than because of it. Take the race away and I’d have liked most of what was left.
This time the crawlers had to kill each other
The bigger problem for me is what the race does to the crawlers. The setup in this series has always been the crawlers against the environment, against the monsters and the traps and the people watching it all for fun. They’ve had their fights with each other, sure, but the dungeon has mostly been the enemy. In this one, they’d set it up so that the crawlers basically had to kill each other to survive, and that made it even more unfair than normal. Which is saying something in a series built on unfairness. Every heat came with that extra weight of knowing a team had to finish last, and that the easiest way not to be last was to make sure somebody else was, and the book leans right into it.
I get why it’s there. It’s grim, and it fits a show that’s always been about cruelty for entertainment, and there’s a point being made about what it does to people when the rules turn them on each other. But I didn’t enjoy reading it. Part of the joy of Dungeon Crawler Carl, going right back to the first book, has been Carl and the crawlers banding together against a system that wants them dead. Setting them against each other takes away the thing I love most about the series and replaces it with something that just made me feel tired.
By the time the floor’s done, only a handful of crawlers are left heading down. That number is brutal, and it should hit hard, and it does. But I’d have rather felt that loss because of something the dungeon did to them than because of something they were forced to do to each other. It’s a different kind of sad. And not one I wanted from this series.
The Pineapple Cabaret
The best thing on the race floor for me wasn’t the race at all, it was the Pineapple Cabaret. It’s a hidden refuge tucked away outside the playing field, built by two former crawlers, one of them a past author of the Cookbook, which has been one of my favourite things about this series since The Dungeon Anarchist’s Cookbook. Every time the series shows you another layer of the people who came before Carl, the ones who left notes and hiding places for whoever came next, it gets a bit bigger and a bit sadder, and this is one of the nicest examples yet. It’s a little pocket of kindness in a floor that has very little of it.
Carl using it to get a couple of hundred people off the field is exactly the kind of thing I read these books for. It’s him finding the door nobody was supposed to find and holding it open for as many people as he can, and for a few chapters the book felt like the Dungeon Crawler Carl I love instead of a racing game. Most of the rest of the last thousand crawlers leave through a deal with the Outreach Guild, the races take a lot of others, and only twenty-three make it down to the eleventh floor. That number stuck with me. It’s the moment the scale of what this floor did really lands, and it’s the Cabaret, not the race, that I’ll remember this book for.
Emberus, Scolopendra and the parade

The bit I did really enjoy was Carl’s final solution with Emberus. I thought that was a good way of working it out, very Carl, the kind of sideways, rules-lawyer answer to an impossible problem that’s been his whole thing since he started taking the system apart, the same kind of thinking that got everyone out through a demon prince’s portal at the end of book six. He doesn’t overpower a god. He just works out where the god is weak and makes the universe do the work for him. That’s when the book felt most like itself, and it’s a big part of why I didn’t score it lower.
The parade on the eleventh floor is a nice change of pace after the races too, with the survivors building floats out of whatever they have, and the AI using the route to finally explain more about what it is and where it came from. Some of that is fascinating, and it fills in a lot of what’s been hinted at since the first book, but it also comes as a lot of talking at the crawlers while they walk, and it made me like the AI less rather than understand it more. Then there’s Scolopendra, the big bad primordial thing that’s been looming for a while, and instead of a big final fight with her, she ends up converted into a crawler and joins the party. That seemed a bit lame to me, and I could feel the air go out of the ending a little when it happened. After all the build-up, I wanted something more than her shrinking down and tagging along, and it took some of the menace out of a villain I’d been genuinely worried about.
The dungeon has gone off the deep end
The thing I can’t stop thinking about is the dungeon AI. I’ve been worried about it for a couple of books now, and in this one it’s gone completely off the deep end. It’s not only crazy anymore, it’s completely unhinged and actively trying to kill everyone. I used to think it might end up helping the crawlers, that underneath all the strangeness it was on their side against the people who built it. I don’t think that anymore. It’s definitely not going to help the crawlers, and as far as I can tell it’s just looking to destroy the universe.
That’s a big shift for the series, and it makes me nervous about what comes next. Floor twelve is coming, the gods are loose, and the one entity that seemed like a wildcard on Carl’s side now looks like the biggest threat of all. I’m still going to read the next one, because I love these characters too much not to, and Carl and Donut are still the best reason to keep going in any LitRPG I’m reading. But this is the first time in eight books I’ve finished a Dungeon Crawler Carl book feeling more worried than excited.
Rating: 3 out of 5. It was ok, and the Emberus solution saved it for me, but I’m hoping the next floor gives Carl his feet back.
What did you make of Scolopendra joining the party instead of going down fighting? Tell me in the comments.























